Evicting The Belly Bees - Journal Page

Hello lovelies!

I hope you're all sparkly and fine? We've had hailstones - HAIL - here today! The Colonel has taken to his blanky in disgust -

That's his "Oh my, aren't I just adorable" face!

I've been alternately rather busy or having a brain wobble for a few days now...kind of oscillating between the two ...so I'm going to take a tiny break for a couple of days so that I can get my brain-imps settled back down, finish things nicely and reboot (hopefully!) I've not had much workable spare arty time but I did manage a little mixed media page in my "emotional crap" art journal....Camera's being its 'own little individual' so I apologise that the pics are a bit below par!

I promise I'll try for better pics, for what it's worth and replace these dodgy ones as soon as my camera agrees a wage rise with its union, or whatever its problem is! SO yes - I need to get rid of my scratchy, crawly belly bees and settle myself a bit and be back before the end of the week. Setting myself a goal there! Wish me luck! For the moment I bid you a temporary but fond farewell and I'll see you soon - hugs and a big bucket of hailstones from Shroo :) xxx

Not Everything Goes To Plan....

Hello Lovelies!

It's Tuesday - and what a sunny one it's been! The temperature has been high (ugh!) and the grass in the garden plot seems to have tripled in length over night. The Colonel has been in the garden for most of the day, inspecting the vegetation and reminding me that it needs attention!

He's in his 'Harvey Quartermain' mode, searching for lost tribes and buried treasure. He needs a little pith helmet and a safari suit then he'll really look the part!

Although the day started well, with me finishing plenty of little necessary tasks I did have a bit of a wobble when I had to go out to pay the bills. It's not far to go, but the trip to the shop set my nerves a-jangle and by the time I returned I was very edgy and twitchy.

I tell you this because I want to show how my mood directly affects the nature and quality of my art. I'd started another page in my birdie book and it was all quite plain sailing, THEN I used it as a means of settling my twitchy, edgy, antsy brain and raw, agitated nerves. What had been a simple page ended up reflecting my fractured, scratchy mood. I dunno - you judge for yourself....I  wanted to share this page even though I'm not happy with it at all, because I think it's useful and important to see work that DOESN'T go to plan, that isn't what I wanted or set out to achieve. Not everything is a keeper! But once I'd calmed down and looked at the page I found it a fascinating insight into the in-the-moment unfocussed and unaware state of my mind.

This page totally lacks the definition and form that I'd planned, and no real depth or contrast. There are so many layers - and I don't have a clear memory, like I just worked on it blindly, without perspective.

This is what the inside of my brain was feeling...lots of layers and lines and scratchy, unplanned, messy thoughts. Too much going on. Too much random detail. There's no soul or story to this picture and nothing working together in harmony to make a successful outcome. The bird is flat and doesn't belong. The visual 'noise' is overwhelming and the substance is lost

There are a LOT of layers - not applied with thought. A lot of smudgy mess. A lot of scribbly, formless distraction.

This page most likely won't stay in the book, but it's interesting as a product of an emotional 'swing' and a gap in cognitive awareness. Art as an expression of self is a complex and intriguing thing. I may cut this up and use it for collage shapes or something. We'll see. I hate waste!

So that's it - perhaps a strange post today, but if I'm sharing all aspects of my art with you then I need to include the failures and weirdnesses as well as the successes, otherwise the journey is never honest or complete! I hope you find this interesting as well. I'm calm now, and looking forward to a pleasant evening where I allow myself to relax and breathe - and hopefully sleep a little as well! I'm sending out some calm and happy thoughts along with my hugs so grab what you need and I'll see you soon - hopefully with something a bit more successful!! xxxxx

Memory Journaling - Happy Thoughts!

Hello little peach blossoms!!

Hang on.....what day is it again?.... Oh yeah, Wednesday. Thank the powers for the little computer clock thingy that replaces the need for a memory!

Aaaaaaand SPEAKING of memories (smoooooooth segue there....), I've been having some difficulties accessing family memories without being reduced to a splooshy puddle of snot so I decided to use the whole 'draw my life' thing as a journal exercise. So, grabbing my trusty pen and some paper offcuts I started doodling some snapshots from my childhood.

This is a great journaling tool - very cathartic, at least it was for me. Instead of a memory being immediately overwhelming and emotional, everything was reduced to bite-sized manageable little chunks that made me smile. Thought I'd share a few so you can see what I'm yattering on about, and maybe have a go for yourself.

This is me with my lovely Grandpa in my grandparents' garden when I was a very little girl. It's cartoony because it's meant to be an exercise in rediscovering fun, not producing a masterpiece. Instead of remembering the garden that I miss so much and being overwhelmed, I focussed on each small thing individually...the begonias,lavender, peonies and marigolds...The honeysuckle trellis with scented English roses ( I can still smell them now), the greenhouse, lawn and magnolia tree....Sunflowers, primulas and star of Bethlehem. I remembered my Grandad in his gardening jumper, darned at the elbows (and STILL full of holes) - my Grandma tried to throw it away, but he'd rescue it every time! Just like his scruffy knitted hat. And there's his workshop with all his jars of bits and bobs, and the outdoor loo! I can smile at all these things - not be drowned in that emotional tsunami.

Twice a year the circus would come and pitch their bright tents on the fields by the river. Less politically correct times, when the circus would bring exotic animals and parade through the streets. We would go and see them - the flurry of colour, smells and sounds... Although I am a sucker for a carnival, I've never much liked the circus...I'm not a fan of caged or performing animals, and clowns - quite rightly - give me the heebie-jeebies (evil things). But the PARADES ....somehow they were magical, and EVERYONE would line the streets to cheer them as they passed by.

Christmas in the little flat - me, mum and our cat (Cat-Friday). We'd make paper-chains to decorate the rooms and the hall, and every year there would be a couple of new decorations for the tree. The fairy would appear at the top magically during my reluctant sleep through Christmas Eve night and be there to greet me on Christmas morning, with a bowl of cornflakes on the table next to which would be a special present from The Christmas Fairy.

Every night mum would tuck me in to my bed with my cuddly toys and she'd read a book with me then play a cassette - usually Black Beauty or Winnie-The-Pooh (my favourites) - which would send me happily to sleep. The little ceramic house nightlight would gently glow and I'd drift off to the Land Of Nod. When I had bad dreams, she'd come in and sing quietly and stroke my hair until I went back to sleep.

It's been such a happy thing to make these little journal-style drawings and they're there now as a record of special moments. I have a feeling I'll be adding to them over time.  I'd hugely recommend giving this style of journaling a go - it's a valuable process and wonderful result. Hope you like these.

As always, thank you for stopping by! I love to read your comments and if you have any relevant questions please leave them in the comment section so that I can reply. Thank you for your recent thoughts and lovely sentiments ALL of which are very much appreciated. Sending out love and hugs from Shroo :) xxx

A Work In Progress...

Monday....another one done with!

Ugh....STILL not a Monday fan - BUT, I made a little discovery in one of the MANY boxes hidden away in my mum's - two Paperchase books, one 11"x11" hardcover filled with heavy black cardstock pages and another 12"x8" hardcover with smooth mediumweight kraft paper.

 I'm not sure what she had planned for them...maybe they would have been gifts someday, or maybe they were meant for one of the many projects we'd planned before she left to dance in her celestial meadow of stars.

I sat and thought about them for a while, then I put them away. Then I made a decision to start a new project with my mum - one that would turn blackness to colour, and I took out the book with the deep velvet-black cardstock and opened the cover, touched the paper....and began

Then I added a little part of my soul

It's now a work in progress...as am I. We have our project, mum and I...and I think it will be a good journey.

Love from me to you -  from Shroo :) xxx

Additional (7th May 2015)

I finished this little fellow by adding a little detail with my Uni Ball white gel pen. I opted not to colour in the leaves and berries, adding a little brass coloured gilding wax instead. I was happy with the result so opted not to mess about any further! Anyhoo - here's the finished page -

xxx

Back To Blogging With Some Happy Mail!

Hello Lovelies!!

Yes.....there's been another loooooong break in the posting schedule! Had a bit of an "interesting" few weeks but I'm still here (honestly, I'm as surprised as you) and I have set myself a challenge: a post a day for the next seven days!

I've needed some time to reconstruct my reality, mend and heal. I'm still having difficulties maintaining focus or following a process - any process - from beginning to end and once again I've turned to art to help me re-establish some order in the chaos. SO far it's been a successful plan, if a little haphazard, project-wise. I've had to take time to reach this point, avoiding the internet being a side effect, but I've missed you guys and am looking forward to rejoining the world of bloggy awesomeness!

I've missed blogging. I've missed YOU guys! In fact, if it wasn't for my online friends I'd have had no real positive contact at all with the human race for over a month now. Thank you SO MUCH to those who have mailed or messaged to check up on me - although I wasn't up to responding rest assured that your well wishes acted as precious stepping stones in the turbulence of my life.

I've had some wonderful gifts too. Carmen (whoopidooings.blogspot.co.uk) and I have decided to be pen pals - like in the old days with actual proper snail-mail letters and stuff! She sent me a gorgeous card with two surprises - a truly lovely Mucha postcard (which will totally become a journal cover....oh yes) and a VERY cool and completely hypnotic lenticular FOX card!

Yeah.....That served as a distraction for QUITE some time. And again when I photographed it. Oooooooo... Thank you missus xxxx Carmen's an amazing artist - I'm currently hassling her for a zombie postcard! Her work is so bright and original and she's totally cool - go visit her blog and say hi! xxxx

Lovely Kathy (kathyinozarks.blogspot.co.uk) and I organised a swap of goodies earlier this year. She has been a LOT more efficient that me and I was late posting her parcel to her (it is crossing the vast ocean now I promise!) but she sent me TWO parcels just completely jam-packed with epicness! One arrived a couple of weeks ago - lightning fast - whereas the other crept along via the moon and arrived this morning! Will we ever understand the ways of the magical mailing companies? The first was filled - FILLED - with yumcious lovely things: hand-dyed fabrics, beads, trims, handmade soaps, handspun yarn. I'm telling you, this woman has skills, baby! She's amazing - and she has DEER that visit her! Since I moved house the most exciting wildlife I see would be noisy gulls (I actually very much love gulls so that's ok!) and the occasional dead mouse. I know The Colonel's not responsible - he's more likely to employ mice as minions rather than squish them! Here are some pics I took so that you can enjoy the yummyness:

 Yep....yep....uh-huh....yep.....AWESOME!!! I already have some ideas to make best use of these wonderful things, but I know it'll be a battle not to just HOARD these!  On top of all this, she sent me a separate parcel with some of her handmade paper (oh yeah....she makes paper as well!) which arrived this morning:

 YUM! These have to be art panels.....but I have no ideas worthy of them as yet! I'll keep you posted!

Thank you Kathy! I love EVERYTHING! I hope you like your parcel of stuff when it finally arrives xxxx If you want to know more about Kathy and her amazing skills, go visit her blog and be inspired!

My bestest friend, Feroz, who has put up with me for YEARS and still hasn't run for hills ALSO spoiled me rotten at Easter. He knows me so well and sends me the most amazing treats to cheer me up! We enjoy sending each other happy parcels and The Colonel has a long standing alliance with his kitty cat, Boo - together they'll take over the world, so we have to keep them both subdued with catnip presents! Feroz sent me a bundle of goodies, including some gorgeous G45 Steampunk Spells paper, some wonderful washi tapes  -

- and just for extra awesomeness, some Faber Castell pastels! They're so vibrant! I have to admit that I've always been reluctant to play with pastels unless it's as part of a mixed media project, but these are so lovely that I'm determined to get the hang of them...

Feroz, The Colonel and I love you loads. I know we tell you all the time but I'm just reminding you and sending you big hugs from the both of us! xxxx

It's really hard being alone here, especially with this irritating and ongoing agoraphobia issue, but the love and support from my online friends, new and long-standing is truly a salvation. Comments here on the blog are a boost and feeling part of a community is vital. Thank you for your encouragement and the inspiration that your creative blogs provide! It feels good to be posting again, and I'm determined to follow my week-long plan and goal of daily posts for seven days. It's a challenge and a motivation! So, that being said, I'll be off now and see you again TOMORROW! Hugs all round! - Shroo :) xxx

Into The Light - Arty Stepping-Stones

Hello !

*waves from behind the sofa*

I'm feeling fragile. I've had a selection of random head glitches sparked by some rubbishy life events and have disappeared into a hole again, but this is me poking my twitchy head out into the light and just reaffirming that I'm NOT gonna get smacked in the face with a shovel! 

Are we all ok? I hope you've had an EPIC couple of weeks because you know you deserve the best of all shiny splendidness, like magic calorie-burning cupcakes, and great hair days, and a visit from tap-dancing, glittered cats, or Hugh Jackman .......(gimme a minute................ok -) yeah - all kinds of awesome! Spring seems to be edging its way through the biting frost-coated winter drapes that have blanketed the world for what seems like an eternity....little delicate flowers appearing, strong and fragile at the same time. That's kinda how I feel - who knew I'd be a snowdrop?!

Yet again, planning ahead hasn't quite gone as smoothly as...well...planned, but I'm going to try and let myself off the hook - I figure that the world won't stop spinning if I don't follow my post schedule....nothing's likely to combust or explode...there appears to be no zombie apocalypse (awwwww......dammit) so I'm just going to pick up and ...I feel that there should be some sport-esque bijou analogy-ette here, but I'm allergic to sport in all its evil forms so .....bazinga! Without further ado....

I've had a LOT of journal time....a LOT..... It's the kind of journaling that I reserve for the 'special' books - the ones on the (cue spooky music) daaarrrk shelves..... Here's my journaling tip for anyone who experiences grotty dark patches and breaks in reality..... keep a selection of journals JUST for these times. Experience has taught me that if I inflict negativity on my regular daily journals/art journals that they become somewhat oppressive to me and in turn that affects my mood when I return once the darkness has passed. I have everyday books for everyday thoughts and emotions, sad books for sad days and angry books for angry rants and crazy painting. And I find that it's ok. I ALLOW myself to be angry or sad; I don't deny it. It needs to escape and get itself the hell away from me so that I can be happy again. Keeping these journals separate and specific helps me to clarify my feelings and find that release. They're no longer a bad reminder or oppressive judge, rather they're a support network of familiar and safe book friends that listen and forgive. I don't feel compelled to destroy them, rather I feel more secure knowing that they're there when I need them. I keep them apart from the rest - they don't mind, they're understanding that way and I can ignore them until I need them again.

I can't share - or rather I choose not to share these [dark] journal entries and art this time around. Everything's still a bit raw and also it's a bit grim and let's face it, none of us need more grim.......instead, just keep thinking 'Hugh Jackman, Hugh Jackman'...... (gimme another minute....... *sigh*)

This time around I found that I needed quick arty fixes to help me stepping-stone my brain back into the light.  These I CAN share with you 'cos they're WAY less freaky...

I grabbed a couple of old sketchbooks and just played....drew things that made me happy - my go-to subjects: mermaids, kitties, fairies, flowers, seaside-related stuff... I found it hard to begin with, but I followed my own 'muse taming' techniques and coaxed that pesky musey minx into some happy arty activity, reluctant though she was at first. I find that these techniques help me loosen up, reduce that pressure to perform.

Silly scribbles and cartoons, doodles and zentangles - do these things as often as you can...when you're talking on the phone, watching tv, waiting for dinner to cook, waiting for the bus or the train - whenever the opportunity presents itself. These little arty moments provide an excellent exercise for that lazy-ass muse and they poke our brains with a stick so that we LEARN AND DEVELOP skills and techniques, teach our hands to move just right.

 Catching up a little further - the sad loss of Leonard Nimoy (I'm a massive fan) prompted some journal doodles, which echoes what I said about using special days and moments as an incentive and guide for a journal entry - they're markers in time and something that I'm always glad of recording when I look back at past journals and sketchbooks:

I honestly don't care whether these are accurate or perfect... these are my personal journal pages - they don't HAVE to be perfect. LESS pressure - there's so much stress in life, our journals and our art are supposed to be a positive light in our lives. We don't HAVE to be the same as someone else....we don't HAVE to be 'on trend'... we don't HAVE to follow the competitive fashions and fads.....we can just be happy and creative.

 Art is truly in the eye of the beholder so when you look at your work, know that it is a reflection of something unique and beautiful within you. And the more you doodle and scribble and play, the stronger you will become with techniques and skills and tricks of the trade. A line on a page doesn't exist 'til you draw it. What you draw and paint is born because you WANT to make a mark on the world - and what could be more beautiful? Love what you create. Nurture it. Be a proud parent to your art and in return it will reflect the coloured facets of your soul like a mirror ball - (and don't we all need a little disco beat to groove to?)

I'm feeling better for having completed this post. Thank you for putting up with my rambling AGAIN!  I'm so late with my planned posts now that catching up is the blogging equivalent of jogging through treacle, so I'm going to re-think and re-jig the stacked up backlog and move on with less of that pressure. I annoy the crap outta myself when I realise that I'm adding my own stress....it's just stoopid! I'll see you soon and in the meantime - be friends with your art, and hug your books and journals and arty supplies and be kind to yourself. 

Big smooshy cuddles from Shroo :) xxx

For You, Just Because....

Well hello again you gorgeous lovely!!

I have just returned from another fruitless visit to my therapist. I've waited 9 months for these appointments...... NINE FREAKIN' MONTHS!!! NINE!!! And surprise, surprise, I return feeling even MORE of a failure, MORE worthless and totally screwed up. I returned wanting to cut holes in every aspect of my being and shrink into nothingnes........... And then - I log on here and I have wonderful comments from lovely, lovely people and while I'm reading them and replying, the monsters in my mind start to slink back into the shadows, allowing my mind to function and the light to start shining through again.

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!

Which prompts this, to each and every AWESOME one of you  -

* You are GORGEOUS! Shush now with your arguements, look at you- you're bloody gorgeous! WOW! The world is more fabulous with your fine ass in it!

* You are talented - your skills and colours light the sky with whole new levels of awesome.

* You're funny - laugh like you see the joke even when no one else joins in. You're a perfect spirit in a world of judgemental cynicism. Your smile shines like the sun!

* You're unique - and that's PERFECT! There's enough of everyone else - the world needs a YOU! you add the sprinkles to the cupcake of life.

Sod everyone else who doesn't get you, doesn't laugh at your jokes, doesn't see your bright colours - they're missing out on something magical, but we all know here how EPIC you are - you're a LEGEND in your own time and time to come and THANK YOU for being YOU!

You are light, you are brightness, you are wonder and heart. Be the person that you are and let the world thank you for just showing up and making everything ok. You ALL have my gratitude and my love. Oh - and The Colonel thanks you too 'cos he's had extra nippits (biscuits) for tea!

I am now gonna sit with a glass of red wine, some cinder toffee and a series of '24' and just breathe.
See you soon, lovely - Shroo:)xxx

Woolly Bags, Pouches and Journals, Oh My!

TA-DAAAAAAHH!!!!

*Leaps from behind a curtain with jazz hands*

Yes I'm still in one piece. Plans may have gone a little awry over the past couple of weeks but The Colonel and I have made it through alive and mostly in one piece. My wibbly brain did its thing again at the beginning of the month and, as a consequence of its impishness I spent the greater part of a week under a blanket in that freaked-out world that only my mental pathways can create! To illustrate, I shall harness the powers of The Colonel and his photo journal -

Where's the kitty?

Surely that's just a big old pile of wubbie blankies? Surely? Unless........

THERE'S the kitty! Under the blankets - out of it all. Yep. Solidarity, my little feline compadre, solidarity. Mmmmmmm.....blankies.....

So anyway. Fortunately, a couple of gorgeously lovely people had given me inspiration for a couple of projects so I dragged myself back to the realms of (tenuous) reality, raided the craft cupboards and got crackin' with some arty fartyness, which eventually helped me to find some momentum....a controllable tempo. My inner metronome has a wanton arrhythmia which plays havoc with my focus, but working with repetitive tasks is a control and valuable measure. Avoiding more random, unfocused arty pursuits, I rooted out my needles, threads and fabrics and began stitching. Wow did it help..... Hell yeah! I can't show you too much of my efforts as I know that they're winging their way to recipients as surprises from lovely fellow bloggers, but one item has arrived safely at its destination so I can at least post a few piccies to give you an idea of what I've been up to:

.....iiiiiiiiiiiit's a journal bag!! It's red plooshy squooshy velvet with pretty butterfly fabric lining and, oh, a LOT of yarn, sari silk and cord tassely goodness! I love colour. So shoot me. And yarn. And fabric. I am weak and have no self control. *sigh* .....but it's so FLUFFY!

It was delivered to its new lovely owner along with the red 'key' journal. It is very cuddly! I mean, not entirely PRACTICAL, but it's full of luscious colour and lovely woolly goodness!

I have made a journal pouch for myself as well, but it IS practical, I'm afraid! It fits in my bag without getting tangled on stuff and holds my journal and pens - it'll do nicely...

I know, I know, but it's still cuddly! My lovely blog buddy Kathy from Kathyinozarks has nudged me into embellishing so I think what I'll do is wait 'til I'm finished with this journal, THEN foof-up the bag, pimp it out with yummy yarns and beads and such so that it stands out on the shelf amidst the rest of the journaly chaos! Whaddaya think? And if you love the idea of scrumptious hand-spun, hand-dyed bespoke yarns, go give Kathy a visit and say hi!

*ARROOOOO--GAAAAHHHH! SENTIMENTALITY ALERT!*

Actually - that brings me around to something that's been on my mind for a while. In this world of disassociated, disembodied anti-social media, the BLOG seems to stand alone as a place where intelligent, kind, generous, talented and friendly people can find a genuine meeting of the minds with fellow bloggers. The people I have met through blogging are all - without exception - inspiring and welcoming. I've had such dreadful and life-shattering experiences with people in my life that it left me broken and devoid of trust. I want to take the opportunity to thank you, my fellow bloggers for helping me to begin to rebuild my faith in humanity. You are a true gift. I've asked some of you if I can feature one or two of your photos in my blog posts and THANK YOU for saying yes!  Over the next few weeks I'll be highlighting as many amazing blogs as possible and I hope that you'll go visit and let them enrich your lives as they have mine.

And now, schmaltz over, moooooooving on....I have three new journals up on Etsy. They're roughly 8"x4.25" and are ideal for art journals! Here's a sneak peek:

Happiness journal:

Oriental Splendour journal:

Collected Treasures journal

Uk post prices are still as cheap as chips, however I've noticed that fees to ship overseas are not quite such a bargain. I've priced by the best weight option including very basic shipping insurance and I've decided that I'd rather play safe with selecting shipping weights as reducing packaging can result in damaged goods, which is not acceptable. What I CAN promise is that I'll fill each and every parcel sent with treats and goodies right up to the shipping limit, so that the cost of shipping will be offset by having a box full of awesomeness to open and enjoy. Post fees will effectively be offset with fun and useful goods. It's scary that it costs the same amount to ship just one book as it does to ship a box filled with extra stuff. I can't help feeling that post services are simply out to diddle us out of our hard earned cash. What do you think of post charges? Do they stand in the way of your sales? I'd be interested to know how you handle the problem so let me know if you'd like to by leaving a comment below. 

I have a week full of posts for you. As promised, I have some journaling ideas, tutorials and exercises which I hope are helpful. I have a look at a couple of my canvases and more besides. Better late than never, eh?! I'll leave you today with a colourful journal page and a big hug of thanks for visiting me and being epically patient with me and my useless temperamental (emphasis on the 'mental'!) brain! See you soon - Shroo :) xxx