Arty Breadcrumbs

MWAH!

Are we happy it's not Monday? Hell, yeah. Now that I have weekends free to art, sleep and cuddle the Colonel (my cat) I understand that coutdown to Friday that everyone's been going on about for years! I used to work 7 days a week (retail - it makes ya grumpy) so resented the weekends JUST as much as any other day, but NOW......aaaah....... Friday........

Aaaaanyway...In this post I'm going to delve a little into how journaling helps to balance my mind and counteracts the negative effects that brainy-grot has on my life. It's just ONE reason that I journal, but it seems pertinent, and might be helpful to some readers, somewhere along the line. It's about finding a positive path.

Last week was a jumpy week, with a total of three full-on, clutch at the chest panic attacks. SUCH fun! I tend to get them in the evenings now when things are quiet and my mind has a chance to churn over the events of the day/week, real or imagined, but I managed a daytime one in there as well...they always seem worse, not sure why! They usually bring about a few nights of insomnia, and last week was no different in that regard, which THRILLS the Colonel, who, in his twisted kitty mind thinks that it's another DAY which means more 'nummy nippits' (our way of referring to his biscuit cat food). In order to distract him from nippit overdose I have to play chase with his favourite cat toys but in the midst of a panic attack that's just not an option, which means I can add clawed legs to the mix. Thank you, Colonel.

I was pleasantly surprised when. once I'd stopped gasping for breath and being gnawed on by my cat, my first port of call for salvation was my art desk and my journal. For once, I wasn't focussed on writing out my spiraling thoughts but instead grabbed pencils and pens and started to draw. Usually, if I'm using my art as a catharsis or a distraction it's a conscious direction, whereas this...just happened. And that's good, I think! I'm happy with it.

When my head spins, I generally retain very little cognitive memory...more a jumble of slightly surreal snapshots. I'm left physically drained but mentally separated from the cause so I feel quite disembodied and not in the greatest place, emotionally. This time round, the process of creating art - almost mindlessly - has left me with a 'trail of breadcrumbs' through the days, which means that, rather than feeling disconnected and slightly lost, I actually feel like I'm climbing out of a journey through a dark valley. It feels....better. Like I have a direction. Like I've achieved something. Survival. I know it sounds a little melodramatic, but that's how things are when brains go a bit squiffy. Anyone who's bi polar, suffered from depression or anxiety or any related issues will understand that melodrama is integral to these disorders. This time, rather than feeling like I'm sunk into quicksand, or am floating with no control in a vacuum I feel that my feet, though wobbly, are actually on firm ground and I'm not so lost or powerless.

This feeling normally comes after a significant amount of cognitive control has been exercised so it's noteworthy that this has happened mindlessly, without encouragement, sans pressure.

So why? Well.... I suspect strongly that the main reason is that I've journaled regularly, incorporating art, for a significant period of time now so it's acted as a kind of auto response....Stress therefore art journal. What's especially interesting is looking at the art I've made. Some of it's a snapshot of whatever my subconscious was struggling with. This is what I mean by 'breadcrumbs'. These things usually just go straight into the bin, but for what it's worth, I've decided to share some of the results with you. I hope you find them interesting.

I had that song 'Don't You Make My Brown Eyes Blue' running through my head like an earworm. I think that's what might have provoked this girl. Have fun with the pop-psychology here.....

I do have a memory of painting her. I think I used Gelatos and soluble pencils. Here are some close-ups -

So later that day....well, closer to the morning hours....

I think I got through that night quite well. Ok, so there are still rocks, and a crevass and bloody big bird of prey, but usually if I'm painting water it's because my mood's changing, or I'm dealing with some emotional crap. And it's sunny. Blue skies. Like I say, gooooooooooooo psychology! ha.

Going abstract. This was also gelatos and inktense pencils with wax and white acrylic paint. It's what's in the pots directly in front of my art spot. It's on packing paper, so thin and crinkly. I quite like it. Some close-ups -

And also on packing paper with crumples -

Not sure what I'll do with it, but here are close ups-

Concentric circles are a common one when my head's spinning. I like the colours though!

And in my journal? Well. I like to draw long scratchy doodles with my special scratchy nib pen. They draw my focus and eventually my brain goes blessedly blank. The subject matter is entirely intuitive. It just happens. Apparently, this time around, my head disappeared off into a fantasy world! Everyone seems quite happy though! Go figure!

 SO there we go.... A weird collection there... But looking at them allows me to connect a linking path through the last ten days and other useful snippits of memory cling to that, a stronger chain than I'm used to. I'm always surprised by the colours. If I relied on my memory clippings I'd remember blackness, but my art shows the underlying optimism that the grot can't quite squish.

Not everyone journals or uses art as a conscious catharsis, or therapy, and that's fine. This blog's about me and my work, and why I do what I do. I'm asked a LOT why I journal and what I get from it so I thought I'd address just one reason and subsequent benefit right now. I'm not saying that it's a cure-all for mental or emotional problems, but I hope it's useful or at least vaguely interesting as a point for consideration. I promised myself that this year I would take a step into trusting, so I'm sharing a little more that I otherwise might - I hope you don't mind or take any offense. And maybe I can encourage you to use your art to help you focus, to create your own links and strengthen the chain that you forge in your life.

Thank you as always for your time - I know you're busy so I REALLY appreciate it when you pop by. If you get a chance, you can leave me a comment to say hello and I'm interested in what you think - and if there's anything you want to ask me. You're all awesome! I'll be back soon with a fun arty exercise to help us loosen the grip on our inner perfectionist! See you soon -Shroo :) xxx

The Colonel is watching you....

Why I Journal: Part 2- Your First Steps

Hello arty people of awesomeness!!

 It's MONDAY again!

How the heck are ye? I hope you're all well and not filled with winter grot or snowed in or something equally vile. Thank you squillions for your patience with my wonky brain and its "special" moments!

It's been a week of ups and downs but I'm back on an even keel, and actually, I think the last few days have been useful with regard to my journaling posts and arty stuff in general. Weird but true..... and I'll yatter on about may arty exploits more in my next post.

I think I'm going to continue the 'Why I Journal' posts for a little while as there's a LOT that I'd like to cover and I'd like to add some exercises in there which some of you might find useful. So, with that in mind, and without further ado, here we go -

Why I Journal: The Second Bit 

* Choosing your journal

* Have A Go At This (journaling exercise)

Choosing Your Journal: The First Step

This is something that seems to stress a lot of people to the point of giving up before they even begin, either ending up journal-less because they just can't choose, or otherwise living with a stack of blank books which present a daunting prospect and never see the light of day or the hint of a pen nib. We are all - ALL - so guilty of stuff envy. You know - wanting every possible arty option, every brand, every size, every colour, and at least six of each so we never run out. Yep. Been there. Done that. Just remember this one thing:

* Choose what makes YOU happy - this is YOUR time, YOUR hobby.

I'll write more about journal choices in the next post, but for now, if you're just stepping out...

1. * Be practical. If you're going to carry a journal around with you, maybe best to choose something that fits easily into your bag and not a gargantuan tome that requires a forklift truck to lug about.
2. * It's inevitable that you'll buy more stuff - but for now, look around your house and find something that will do for today....there's nothing to stop you picking up a notebook and journaling your search for your perfect journal! (for example, list brands, collect coupons for local stationery or art shops, useful websites). Get used to writing something - anything! It's good practise. The important thing is that you BEGIN.
3. * Don't judge yourself by other people's choices. They chose their book....you'll choose yours....and?
4. * Try not to be intimidated by styles and techniques that you like but haven't tried yet. They key word is YET. There's no need to say "well, I'd LOVE to keep a journal, but I want to use art and I don't know how to paint. I can't paint therefore I can't journal. That's that." Nonsense. What CAN you do? Well, then do THAT for now while you enjoy learning new things. Journaling's about progression and allowing yourself to follow the path of your life changes and growing abilities. The only person judging you is you. Stop it, you dafty - you're FABULOUS!

* Have A Go At This *

Here are a couple of fun and easy exercises for you to have a go at - one's writey, one's arty. Pick one, or both and see where it takes you.

Writey exercise - 'A Letter To......'

It's often hard to write your feelings down if you're not used to it, and recording events can seem a little pointless so....

Imagine that you're writing a letter to a good friend or relative. It can be a long missive, or a short note. If you couldn't text or phone them, what would you write to them? Would you tell them a good joke? Write a recipe? Tell them you renewed an aquaintance or had a row or got a new job? Maybe you'd tell them about an awesome new purchase, or a film you've seen that you'd recommend and you'll tell them why.

Instead of writing in a book, pick up a nice piece of paper and actually write a letter. It can honestly be to anyone - they can be living or otherwise engaged in floaty amazingness in the afterlife. Write to fictional character! Harry Potter? Aslan? Gandalf? Sherlock Holmes? Write to your baby, who may not be able to read yet, or even speak, but may one day have the joy of reading the silly, funny, personal things that can be precious in later years. Write to your deity of choice. Write to the fairies, pixies or elves. Write to yourself in the future....or the past. It matters not who choose to write to - just write....anything, everything. You can even fold your letter and put it in an envelope (don't forget to include the date!) You can always add your letter into a book, or otherwise KEEP letter writing your days and your thoughts and tie them in bundles with pretty ribbons and keep them in a beautiful box surrounded by keepsakes and the ephemera of your life. What a GORGEOUS and personal keepsake for you and your loved ones!

Arty Exercise - 'My First Book'

This is a great idea for anyone who's never before used art in a journal exercise, BUT if you're used to adding art elements to your journaling process then you can upscale the concept to something more flashy that suits your level and skill set. For this blog post I'm going to assume that you, darling reader, are a lovely beginner.

*

To begin, choose between five and ten key words which represent and sum up the things you want to bring into your life in the coming year. They should be positive and happy words designed to encourage and support you. It's entirely up to you whether you relate them to artistic and creative endeavours, or whether you want to relate them to other aspects of your life. For the purposes of this exercise I've chosen the following: GROW, BECOME, FUN, CONFIDENCE, SHARE, LEARN, CREATE.

You're now going to make a little book - possibly your first, but I assure you that it's easier than making a sandwich so you'll be fine. Go grab a few sheets of paper and a pair of scissors. The number of pages you'll need depends on how many words you've chosen so to make it easier I'll just assume (again) that we've all chosen seven words. Just because.

Cut four pieces of paper (you'll need more if you've chosen more words) and then fold them in half so that they all fit inside each other to make the pages of a book, like this  -

Select a length of twine, cord or thin ribbon that's roughly three times the length of your page spine, place it inside the centre page against the spine, turn the book over and gently but firmly tie the fastening on the outside of the spine. Like this -

The ribbon in the picture's a little too wide, but I wanted it to show up - yours should be a lot narrower so that the pages all turn easily. Remember not to pull the fastening TOO tight or it'll tear the paper, ok?  So voila! your first easy peasy little book!

You can decorate your cover however you like. I've made a quick example and just glued down a pretty picture cut from a magazine -

This is an exercise to help you practise using an image to represent or highlight a word or concept. 

This doesn't have to be difficult. Look at the words you've chosen. You're going to journal them into your book with complemantary images using basic collage techniques. You can find more pictures from magazines OR you can make your own simple shapes instead. For example, if you want to represent "LOVE", you could cut out a picture of a happy couple, a mother and child....a cake! OR you can paint and cut out a lovely heart shape and flex your arty muscles even more! It's up to you whether you use just one technique, or opt to mix the two. Now write your words out clearly onto paper and cut each one out so that you have a little pile of seven words and another one of seven images.

Open up your book and glue your matching images and words onto the right hand pages of your book. Find a way to overlap the two that pleases you. See how easy collage can be?  You can add some doodles or borders - whatever makes you happy. On the blank pages opposite your image, write a sentence that sums up a relevant GOAL that you want to achieve. Here are the pages I finished so that you can see what I mean -

This little example book is really simple and basic so you can't use the excuse "Oh, that's out of my comfort zone". Honestly. Of course, if you want to make yours AWESOME, please feel free!

The aim of the exercise is that you COMPLETE a project with confidence.  SO many of us put off starting a new hobby because it seems daunting, but this won't take you long at all, uses only the things you already have around you, and should be a bit of fun! You can involve a friend, or do a similar project with your kids, as long as at the end of it you have a little completed book to remind you that you CAN take that first step.

*

So now you have a couple of ideas to get you started on your journaling journey. I hope they're helpful. I'll update you on my own art progress in the next post and give you some more journaling exercises as well.

If you're a fellow blogger please consider taking a bijou peek-ette at the fabulous "GROW YOUR BLOG PARTY" hosted by Vicky at "2 Bags Full".  It takes place on 25th January and encourages participants to visit hundreds of arty crafty blogs, follow the ones you like, and encourage more lovely, gorgeous followers of your own.

For now, here're some doodles from my diary - thank you for visiting, for your patience and your support! HUGE SPARKLY HUGS from Shroo :) xxx

Intermission...

Hey lovely!

Okee - there's a bijou delay-ette in the 'Why I Journal:Part 2' post thingy..... Just a day or so. Afraid I had a fairly significant panic attack and subsequent brain-spin today which kind of opted me out of reality and buggered up my plans, as these things do. My long-term, well-practised steps to being-not-so-nutty are mostly kicking in and hopefully, mentalness permitting, I'll be properly back in (or at least on the edges of) the land of "normal" tomorrow. I tell ya, you can't put a price on being able to BREATHE properly - you know? Like, to the bottom of your lungs? In the meantime, please go ahead and play some 'musak' in your head until normal service resumes.....the kind of 'Girl From Ipanema' *dooo do-do-doo, DO doo do-do-doo, DOOO do-do-do, DO do-dooooo-do-do....aaah* kind of crap..... Filler vibes.....and please enjoy these sketchy doodles while I fix my thinky process and remember how to walk without pacing and inhale without hyperventilating.......stuff like that...... Remember how awesome you are and that myself, my weird-ass brain, and the Colonel love and appreciate you to the power of awesome infinity! Hugs from Shroo :) xxx

*  *  *

RAAAAARRRRR!!!!

Why Do I Journal? -Part One

Hello Gorgeous!

Have we all recovered from the festive season and moved smoooooothly into 2015? Yuh-huh. Have we all survived the various array of pestilence and grot and general lurgy that fells even the strongest of us at this damp and chilly time of year? You can tell I'm British.... HAVE to comment on the weather - it's, like, the LAW or something.

I've managed to do a bit of blog-surfing and a little Youtube-ing and I see that everyone's making resolutions and choosing words and quotes for the year. I admit that I'm not awesome at either of those, but I can see how it has provided a useful anchor for so many so I thought I'd give it a try.

My word for the year is: STRENGTH. Because I know what I will have to deal with this year I know I'm going to have to be stronger than I feel right now, so choosing this word is something that I hope will provide a positive reinforcement, mentally, emotionally and even physically. It's a very "earth" word, although my life element is water, but I feel that a more grounded approach to the year would provide additional advantage. Kinda. I'm still a mermaid. That's not changin'. I'll just have a nice big rocky rock of rockness to hold onto when the waters get too swirly!

My quote for the year is by the epic and awesome writer, Neil Gaiman:

"May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself."

...which brings me to the subject of journaling (no, really - there IS a nifty segue) as I chose to open my new journal with a li'l sketch and this quote, which I find quite inspiring and which reminds me of something my mum wrote for me when I was a LOT younger. My journal is actually a GORGEOUS notebook from www.paperblanks.com, which I found in a drawer at mum's house. It has lovely off-white paper which takes ink really well, and brightly coloured, embossed cover with stunning metallic tints.

The artwork is entitled "Soul & Tears" by Laurel Birch from California. The quote that accompanies the art is "The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears". It's a beautiful book and I love it. I'd highly recommend this range of journals - they're not cheap by any stretch of the imagination, but they're so incredibly lovely and well made that they are worth treating yourself.

This is my li'l front page sketch:

...and this is me doodling my quote. I changed one word - "good" books instead of "fine" books - just because it reminded me of one of the silly 'in-joke' type comments I had with mum. Too long to explain so don't worry!

I'm happy to have a new - and small - journal. I LIKE the size (roughly A6) as it's so comfortable to hold and easy to fill a page.  Journal keeping seems to be growing more and more popular, which is wonderful! I know that a lot of people want to start journaling but aren't sure where to begin. It's such a personal thing so it's not really possible or relevant to have rules and guidelines, but some suggestions may be helpful so I thought I'd post a bit more about why I journal and how I go about it. I'm going to split the post into two sections as there's a lot to ramble about and I don't want you losing the will to live halfway through! With that in mind....

Why I journal - Part One:

I wonder whether the reason that we often find journaling a bit weird or uncomfortable is because we're not FEELING the journaling vibe. I know, I know, it sounds obvious, but we all read blogs and watch vids and Pinterest like mentalists and we see what so many beautiful and talented people are doing and it's so EASY - and NORMAL (yes) - to want to join in, with enthusiasm overriding focus. It's natural to want to emulate what we see and admire, and I think that can work REALLY well when it's about learning techniques for arts and crafts, expanding our awareness of the amazing array of coolness that's out there and when we need advice about materials and such. Journaling, however, includes a deeply personal component which is unique for each and every person and THAT'S what we all need to find within ourselves in order to feel at home with recording feelings and thoughts that might otherwise never be given a voice.

So if you're wanting to journal, you need to ask yourself a question to which only YOU can provide answer:

Q: Why do you want to keep a journal?

This is a fairly ambiguous toughie....but here are a few further - friendlier - questions and some thoughts that might help to pin things to your magical inspiration board -

Who will read your journal?
Will you share it with friends, bloggers, family?
Will it just be for you?

 Sometimes the things we record are influenced by who may read our journals. If you have children, then journals which include your own memories as well as your daily experiences can be precious and a healing, happy heirloom. If you're the only person who'll see your journals, will you re-read them? How will you feel when you do? What can you include in them that will make your memories and your life jump off the pages with joy and love?

What do you want to record?
How do you want to record it?

I've recorded everything from family history to lists of DVDs and books. I've taken photos of my collections and shelves in my homes so that I can look back and see how my tastes have changed, and now that so many things have gone, I have them there as a memory prompt. I've recorded meals, shopping trips, visits to the cinema or theatre, conversations with friends, hassles with bills and money, shiny new craft supplies, my cat's ENTIRE life, weather, memories from my childhood, my moods, favourite songs, poems, art.  I've written, drawn, painted, collaged, scrapped and smashed.

If you could look back into your past and put things into a book to keep forever, what would you choose?  Why would you choose them?

Where would you LIKE to be in one year. three years, ten years?
What are your hopes and dreams?
What do you want to leave behind?

Journals are a progressive thing. When you look back at them you can see how you've accomplished and achieved, overcome losses, defeated your demons, survived the dark days, celebrated the bright times. You can follow your loved ones through your own thoughts and records of conversations with them. What did they wear? What did they say? How did you celebrate birthdays? Your writing style will change - as will your art! Watch your own development and be amazed by your own kick-ass self!

Will you record happy moments?

Will you record sad things?

Will you record your personal triumphs, no matter whether they be large or small?

Will you use words?

Will you use Art? Or both?

Your answers to all these questions will be different to mine and to everyone else's and that's how it SHOULD be. Take influence for styles, ideas and techniques, but your reasons are your own and once you find them you'll find that your journaling will flow freely.

Choose a book, a pad, a piece of paper....a pen, a pencil, paint or a photograph....a word, a quote, a song lyric, a list or a wish, and begin your journey. If you want some company, look online or in your local area for like-minded people. Involve family if you like, or keep it just for you. You could visit The Documented Life Project and jump in with both feet - there are people there who are just starting and people who've journaled all their lives. There are useful posts on sites everywhere - you can find an interesting one HERE - or take the opportunity to join in blog hops like the GROW YOUR BLOG party and take inspiration from other peoples' creative adventures.

Be brave. If you really find that journaling's not for you then you can just move on to something that better fits your unique skill set and celebrate your creativity in a different and equally spectacular way! No worries! Glow proudly knowing that you are fearless and are unafraid to try.

Ok - I think we've all had just about all we can take for one day! I'll post again this weekend with the second bit which will be a look into my own art journaling, notes on finding the right book, and some ideas and prompts that might help you move into your own journaling. I hope this has been useful and not just a lot of old flannel from my squiggly brain.

Thank you for your visityness - you know I love you and appreciate you finding time in your hectic life to visit me in my weeny corner of the interweb! Here - have a MASSIVE hug from me! See you soon - Shroo :) xxx