It's Tuesday - and what a sunny one it's been! The temperature has been high (ugh!) and the grass in the garden plot seems to have tripled in length over night. The Colonel has been in the garden for most of the day, inspecting the vegetation and reminding me that it needs attention!
He's in his 'Harvey Quartermain' mode, searching for lost tribes and buried treasure. He needs a little pith helmet and a safari suit then he'll really look the part!
Although the day started well, with me finishing plenty of little necessary tasks I did have a bit of a wobble when I had to go out to pay the bills. It's not far to go, but the trip to the shop set my nerves a-jangle and by the time I returned I was very edgy and twitchy.
I tell you this because I want to show how my mood directly affects the nature and quality of my art. I'd started another page in my birdie book and it was all quite plain sailing, THEN I used it as a means of settling my twitchy, edgy, antsy brain and raw, agitated nerves. What had been a simple page ended up reflecting my fractured, scratchy mood. I dunno - you judge for yourself....I wanted to share this page even though I'm not happy with it at all, because I think it's useful and important to see work that DOESN'T go to plan, that isn't what I wanted or set out to achieve. Not everything is a keeper! But once I'd calmed down and looked at the page I found it a fascinating insight into the in-the-moment unfocussed and unaware state of my mind.
This page totally lacks the definition and form that I'd planned, and no real depth or contrast. There are so many layers - and I don't have a clear memory, like I just worked on it blindly, without perspective.
This is what the inside of my brain was feeling...lots of layers and lines and scratchy, unplanned, messy thoughts. Too much going on. Too much random detail. There's no soul or story to this picture and nothing working together in harmony to make a successful outcome. The bird is flat and doesn't belong. The visual 'noise' is overwhelming and the substance is lost
There are a LOT of layers - not applied with thought. A lot of smudgy mess. A lot of scribbly, formless distraction.
This page most likely won't stay in the book, but it's interesting as a product of an emotional 'swing' and a gap in cognitive awareness. Art as an expression of self is a complex and intriguing thing. I may cut this up and use it for collage shapes or something. We'll see. I hate waste!
So that's it - perhaps a strange post today, but if I'm sharing all aspects of my art with you then I need to include the failures and weirdnesses as well as the successes, otherwise the journey is never honest or complete! I hope you find this interesting as well. I'm calm now, and looking forward to a pleasant evening where I allow myself to relax and breathe - and hopefully sleep a little as well! I'm sending out some calm and happy thoughts along with my hugs so grab what you need and I'll see you soon - hopefully with something a bit more successful!! xxxxx
maybe you don't like it but I do, lovely little birdie in his own colourful hap hazzard garden. Your cat looks like a very big cat, bet he's the boss cat on the block, no messin with him :-)
ReplyDeleteA MAD garden! ha! Yep - The Colonel's a rotund chap. He had a Burmese mummy and a cross breed (Burmese 'n' moggy) dad so he inherited that Burmese podge gene. Plus he has had all kinds of digestive problems since he was about four years old.Oh - and he's a VERY lazy little bugger! He's been on strict weight loss prescription diet for nearly eight years but he moves like he's under water! Slow motion casual lump. He is my darling though I swear he'll give me a hernia one day when I pick him up without three hours of preparation stretching !!! He can fight though - he's a southpaw, like Rocky! He had to learn to fight so that his big sister didn't eat him when he was little! Awwww My little Colonel...aaaaawww
DeleteYour birdie looks great with all those energetic colors and powerful lines :) I like the edgy graphic feel on it. My paintings 90 % reflects my moods and imagination (10 % are custom works LOL) :)
ReplyDeleteI still find it fascinating to look at my work AFTER I break back into a more cognitive state - it's always an insight! I've always said you paint from your soul, you do. That's why your art is so captivating! xxx
DeleteI think you should keep this piece in your journal-art is an expression-and in this case it is your expression of that day.
ReplyDeleteThe Colonel looks quite royal-like he is definately the king cat lol
AHA! IT's now a day on and I' have DONE a thing with it - shortly to be featured in todays post! :-D
DeleteThe Colonel looks lazy and like the universe owns him a living! That's his base-line state! Can you tell the fluff problem I have with him? Did you SEE the amount of fur? *sigh* We're on three brushes a day at the mo! xxxxx
I think you're too hard on yourself. That bird is just dandy. You're seeing imperfection where it doesn't exist. Note the day, note how you feel and reassess on a calmer day. H xx
ReplyDeleteI used to be horrific with my art...in fact the only reason I have ANYTHING from longer than four years ago is because mum nicked it and hid it. Used to throw everything away. Now I don;t mind so much. I now make myself persevere to (eventually) finish everything even if I think I hate it and usually I feel ok by the end. I'm not so bothered now when I don't like something, or if it doesn't work - like this page - and you're right that it reflects my state of mind and is an interesting snapshot of my mental process. Thank you for being lovely! Sending hugs - Shroo:)xxx
DeleteI know it's not what you wanted to create but I really like it! I love the twitchiness of the lines, the vibrancy of the colors, and the texture of the surface. Perhaps the twitchy work is as important as the serene work. After all, it is a part of your psyche. All of the parts that make you the artist that you are seem valid to me.
ReplyDeleteI agree - that's why I wanted to share it here. I think it's important to validate the COMPLETE art process as it all fits like a jigsaw to form our creative path. This haphazard, scritty-scratty page is definitely a reflection of how my brain felt ....I felt like I was filled with really tiny, really angry bees! Painting it all out onto a multi-layered paper was like an emotional exorcism and I'm a total advocate of acknowledging these feelings THEN LETTING THEM GO! ...which is the hardest part sometimes I think!
DeleteHave you remembered today that you're bloody fabulous? I hope so - just reminding you in case you forgot there missus.Hugs and sunshine to you and the herd! xxxxxx
I think he works, he looks as if he is spooked and about to take flight, which I guess is a reflection of your mind-set at the time, but art doesn't need to be "comfortable".
ReplyDeleteI have a lovely mental picture of the Colonel in a pith helmet. I think one of your illustrations is called for
That is INDEED how I felt. I appreciate that the picture shows that - and it proves that using a creative process to release that angstyness (it's a word .....probably) is an effective tool.
DeleteI will indeed do a pic - probably a few - of The Colonel and his many adventures. Mother will be thrilled from her perch on the eternal rainbow stage (if she can see through her follow-spot) as she always wanted me to to do that!! Hugs and cat fluff from the two of us xxx
Maybe it did not turn out as you wanted, but it is still beautiful, I admire that you can express all your different feelings and emotions in such beautiful art. I see a lot of energy in your page.
ReplyDeleteKind of a hectic, rabid energy!! :-P Thank you indeed for being lovely! Hugs and MOUNTAINS of beads (*sigh*) from Shroo:)xxx
DeleteI love your bird page, and art journaling is there perhaps to record our mood swings and emotions. Hope you feel better today! Greetings from Lilly and Lucky @ Colonel! Hugs, Valerie
ReplyDeleteThe Colonel waves a casual, sun-drenched paw at Lilly and Lucky. He admires their collective gorgeousness and has them on his list of compadres in the revolution, when the cats of the world rise up and rule the WORLD. And have ALL the fish. And biscuits. And chicken. And cheese. He'll save them some of the GOOD catnip!
DeleteThank you for your comment - I agree about art journaling; it's amazing how cathartic it can be! Sending you hugs and lots of dandelions (I have a 'lawn' full of them) from Shroo:)xxx
What a fun piece. I love all the bright colors.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun piece. I love all the bright colors.
ReplyDeleteThank you squillions - I'm glad you liked it! Hugs from Shroo:)xx
DeleteIf we only kept what in our minds was "perfect", it would make us one-dimensional. "We", as human beings are not one dimensional. It is all those mood swings (good and bad), thoughts and associated processes, that makes one whole - makes us "us". Artists are also their own worst critics (thank goodness for that)!
ReplyDeleteI think it is gorgeous - I see him as being on alert - something has caused him to look up suddenly and see what's beyond his safety zone. A predator, friend, foe...who knows? Kinda like your mood at the time, perhaps.
I really think it should stay in the journal!
Please give hugs and kisses to The Colonel-he looks so darn huggable!
I agree entirely that creative people are their own harshest critics. It doesn't take much at all to convince us that we and our creations are worthless! Honestly, I could receive the key to the country and have a parade to celebrate my art but if just one person told me I was worthless I'd believe THEM and spin into a pit of eternal darkness. There's no logic to any of this. I think that's why I've trained myself to use art processes to work my way out of my 'episodes'. Ok, so sometimes I'm beyond it, but usually it does move me in an eventually positive direction.
DeleteYour reading of the piccy and the bird is quite right. On edge, feeling vulnerable, judged and under attack - yep. It's interesting to look back after the fact although I do feel somewhat disassociated from that page. Not to worry - I've been inventive! I shall post the results shortly! Moooowahahaha!!!
The Colonel would like you to know that he is INDEED adorable, thank you for noticing! You may have a paw wave and a gold-plated whisker of honour when the revolution occurs! We send you hugs from us both :)xxxx
A few days ago I post a comment here and it looks like it never went through. Darn iPad! Let's just say that I was raving at how awesome I thought this piece looks and how it is a visual exploration of your feelings at the time. It's raw and wonderful! So glad you shared!
ReplyDeleteIt's a gorgeous page and now a gorgeous book. I love how you can analyse things. I generally just turn into the Hulk... though I haven't gone all HULK SMASH on anything in a long while. (Last thing was a new put together desk that when I tried to lift to move it, decided the top would come off so I went all RAAARGH and helped it along to being in little pieces.)
ReplyDeleteLove the Colonel - I hope he finds his treasure :D