It's Tuesday - and what a sunny one it's been! The temperature has been high (ugh!) and the grass in the garden plot seems to have tripled in length over night. The Colonel has been in the garden for most of the day, inspecting the vegetation and reminding me that it needs attention!
He's in his 'Harvey Quartermain' mode, searching for lost tribes and buried treasure. He needs a little pith helmet and a safari suit then he'll really look the part!
Although the day started well, with me finishing plenty of little necessary tasks I did have a bit of a wobble when I had to go out to pay the bills. It's not far to go, but the trip to the shop set my nerves a-jangle and by the time I returned I was very edgy and twitchy.
I tell you this because I want to show how my mood directly affects the nature and quality of my art. I'd started another page in my birdie book and it was all quite plain sailing, THEN I used it as a means of settling my twitchy, edgy, antsy brain and raw, agitated nerves. What had been a simple page ended up reflecting my fractured, scratchy mood. I dunno - you judge for yourself....I wanted to share this page even though I'm not happy with it at all, because I think it's useful and important to see work that DOESN'T go to plan, that isn't what I wanted or set out to achieve. Not everything is a keeper! But once I'd calmed down and looked at the page I found it a fascinating insight into the in-the-moment unfocussed and unaware state of my mind.
This page totally lacks the definition and form that I'd planned, and no real depth or contrast. There are so many layers - and I don't have a clear memory, like I just worked on it blindly, without perspective.
This is what the inside of my brain was feeling...lots of layers and lines and scratchy, unplanned, messy thoughts. Too much going on. Too much random detail. There's no soul or story to this picture and nothing working together in harmony to make a successful outcome. The bird is flat and doesn't belong. The visual 'noise' is overwhelming and the substance is lost
There are a LOT of layers - not applied with thought. A lot of smudgy mess. A lot of scribbly, formless distraction.
This page most likely won't stay in the book, but it's interesting as a product of an emotional 'swing' and a gap in cognitive awareness. Art as an expression of self is a complex and intriguing thing. I may cut this up and use it for collage shapes or something. We'll see. I hate waste!
So that's it - perhaps a strange post today, but if I'm sharing all aspects of my art with you then I need to include the failures and weirdnesses as well as the successes, otherwise the journey is never honest or complete! I hope you find this interesting as well. I'm calm now, and looking forward to a pleasant evening where I allow myself to relax and breathe - and hopefully sleep a little as well! I'm sending out some calm and happy thoughts along with my hugs so grab what you need and I'll see you soon - hopefully with something a bit more successful!! xxxxx